Wednesday 6 August 2008

First Day...Yet again!

its my first day at work..after a 5 month long hiatus..
hiatus coz...my life took an entire shift in this duration..
So iam back to being a software engineer to an mnc..sitting in front of a computer after 5 long months of wait...had been dying to get back to work..and here iam..back to the monotonous life of a software engineer..that starts and ends around sitting in front of the comp..
and im back to living the typical life of a SE..get up in the morning..get ready and reach office...login to the idiot box(well yes the definition of an idiot box has changed over a few years!!),check emails..go for tea break..come back..try and do some work..go for a stroll to ur colleague's desk..come back to the idiot box coz the PL is checking on everyones work....hurray!!suddenly its lunch time..spend an hour on lunch n a walk post lunch..get back to the box..tea break..orkut/gmail/facebook/linked in..n blah blah..and time to go back home!!!!on some special days..ur encountered with a few meetings (to reduce the strain on the eyes that u develop sitting 12-14 hours in front of a PC)and if the lady luck isnt favoring u..u may even end up getting a good public firing..the routine appraisal..the routine everything..so then why is it that i had been cribbing for the past 5 months..to get back to this life?what is it with me..that everything now seems to hold just no value..im not excited about the new job..well i would be lying if i wud say i m not totally excited..ofcourse i have the thrill of having money every month to go and indulge in my shopping escapades:-)but then when i say excitement..i mean the professional thrill..i just dont get the kicks and i dont like doing what im doing..i dont want to just sit in a cubicle and write codes..i want to move out..meet people..make plans..do something constructive n not stay on the mercy of my manager to appraise me for the work i do and he probably knows nothing about..i want to break free...break free from this outine life of a software engineer..break free..and follow my mind..follow my heart..to where it takes me..to something more worthwhile..something productive..and something that can probably return the excitement of my life..the excitement to live..to learn..to teach..to sing..to dance..to have fun..and the excitement that one gets when happy!!
the other day i was watching "heavy petting"on NDTV good times..and there those guys were showcasing a place called "the royal kennels" in pune..
i loved the whole idea of it..the way those animals were being pampered in there...had rooms to themselves and people to feed them..
they were genuinely happy dogs who had no anguish or anything for their visitors..they indulged in pillow fights...happily took their baths..went out for long strolls...played a lot..and ate a lot..
and all of it felt so good to the eyes..that there are people who understand the plight of animals..
though it was a purely 5 star treatment for the privileged dogs who had rich owners..it just brought a little thought to my mind..
what if some day i can start a place like that..
a place where theres love for all the street animals..all the poor beings who dont get food for days or are killed mercilessly by the ongoing road traffic.,
if only i had the money..the resources to do it..this is one thing i would wanna do..
i havent been happier in the last one year(i mean the happiness one gets out of seeing someone else..happiness which is beyond ones self) than i was when i saw those little one playing here n there..
i dont know how many of weird dreams that i dream would ever come true..
but i live in the hope..that someday iam able to do something which is beyond myself..beyond the pressures of family...and relatives...this world..the boundations
something which is only for the purest emotion in the world.."LOVE"
may be someday i can rise up and stand tall..and "DO WHAT I WANNA DO"

in a hope for a better tomorrow...
Adios!

1 comment:

Nidhi said...

First of all, may all that you ve wished for in this post and in general, comes true :)

one thing I have learnt after 3 years of job is that we all SEs hate our jobs yet we can't live without it :P

We take a beak for some time and come back to it sooner or later.. :)

Idiot Box, despite being an idiot is inseparable from our lives :)

Goo to see that you are back to world of Software Engineering ;) working hard ( Facebook/ Orkut/ Linkedln / Gmail/ Yahoo mail etc etc )

Enjoy !!