Thursday, 23 October 2008

After effects of Karzzzz

Im sighing a lot as I write this post...
probably this is what one does when he/she is facing a social/public/colleague/family/ and so on and so forth boycott!!

Well yes..I have been boycotted for having watched Karzzzz..
I dont know why that though..Its not that that I am a Himesh loyalist who had been sitting upright waiting for the release of this movie and had made super pre booking to watch the first day first show..or i was listening to the Tandoori nights song in the repeat mode on my ipod..or i had downloaded the video of the songs of karzzzz on my ipod and was watching them throughout my day..
No!!I did none of that..

I am just a common girl..who was anxious to see this crazy melodrama which was unfolding on a friday and had the biggest hooligan in the india movie world!!
I was just anxious to know how he decided to step into Rishi Kapoors shoes and try to be Monty..and above all..
I just wanted to see what this Himesh Reshammia craze is all about..!!
I didnt force anyone to go with me..I just asked Vin and Shivani when they were on their 5th beer each,,,if they wanted to watch the movie..and they willingly agreed!!

....and here is what all three of us have gone through in the week post Karzzzz!


I get oh-u-strange-woman-to-have-watched-karzzzz looks from people in my team!

My only 2 friends in office dont want to be seen in public with me..their conversations with me have gone up strangely..i think they find me amusing!

C-my friend yells HimRich whenever he sees me in office-the others have followed suit!

My manager now totally believes that im taking a free salary home and m a good for nothing dumb delhi chick who does not work will go to any extent to watch a movie!!!


He gets a Oh-You-Loser-You-Went-For-Karzzzz looks..!

His team finds him amusing and hilarious!

His friends have found a bakra to crack jokes at..and Vin has to oblige!

Everytime he tries to make fun of some one he gets the Oh-Shut up-Atleast-I-Dont-Go-For-Karzzzz-like-You looks

the reaction he gets when he comments on how funny are the lyrics of the song from Yuvraaj-"Yeah if you know what good taste went for Karzzzz"


The most common statement she has come across in the past one week is"Ohh went for Karzzzz"(rolling eyes and smirk follow)

She hides with embarrassment when people comment on how can people watch Karzzzz to make it a hit!

Common friends have made statements like"We cant believe you actually went for the movie with Richa-she cant do that..nor can you..whats with you girls!!"

While it hasnt mattered a lot to me since people around me anyways have always known that I am a nut..the public reactions have taken Vin and Shivani and ofourse a few of my very close friends by shock..and here is the summary of what people have told me in this past one week


"I will never go for any movie with you..even if it stars John,or George clooney or anyone who we have a common crush on!!never...never...never!!"
"You make me look like a Himesh fan..I hate you for it!!"
"This is what you give me after 12 years of friendship..a public embarrassment"

(i think she was overwhelmed by monty's mom in the movie Karzzzz")


" cant touch that remote..and dont even try!!"
"My hair is in a funny state-coz of you"
"I am not going for any movie with you..please find some one who has a filthy taste in movies like you!!"
"First you drag me for the movie..and then you tell the whole world that i went with you..I will never forgive you for the embarrassment you have given me in this one week!!!"

My friends:

these are the messages on my wall on facebook-public enough for everyone to know..

"Hey..I heard you went for Karzzzz..are you jobless?"

"Mrs. Tripathi... wat is this that I am hearing about you .. Man u r so jobless ...U actually went to see KARZZZ .. and dragged 2 poor innocent souls along ....God ...!!! and i heard you are totally in love with HIMESH and Mr. tripathi is feeling insecure about ur divine love now ...LOLZ ...
Kindle give updates!"

"I am disowning you today-I cant believe you went for Karzzzz,,how jobless are you woman?"

"Haw!!!!u went for gawd!"

"Really..cant believe it..whats with you woman!!"

My mom-

"huh...tum Karzzzz dekhne kaise chali gai..when I ask you to watch old hindi movies you royally rfuse ..and here you went for this one...are you alright"

Vin's mom:-
You guys actually went for everything ok..are u guys so bored in bangalore..come back to jaipur"

Vin's dad(this was a shocker for Vin)-
" cant torture my daughter like this by taking her to random movies..this is not what i epxect of u..dare u do this the next time"

Random people

" sure has a funny hair do..why did u take him for karzzzz"
"You guys are daring man..u went for Karzzzz...Vin your hair look it the Karzzzz effect?"

So much so for the belief that i was a Himesh loyalist and one of the many people responsible for making him what he is today by listening to his crappy songs..I have had to set my status messages like "Im not a Himesh Fan" to try and suppress the revolt that has surged upon me from all angles..
and amidst all this chaos..its my father who supports me like saying

"I am proud of sat through it and are still normal!!"

Atleast my dad understands me!!

Monday, 20 October 2008

Tan..tananana Tanndoori Nights!!

This weekend is dedicated to a lot of gooooooood things(coming up soon)..but the most significant one is having had the pleasure of watching the much awaited and much hyped Inox,back rows..with 3 tubs of popcorns,5 servings of French fries,some corn and cheese dumplings etc..etc(the etc was about all the in between the movie snacks to resist any shocks the movie may have provided)

And here are my random thoughts on the movie in no fixed order (sadly though ...I should have taken a notepad)

Dino Morea agreed to look like Himesh bhai in his next birth-he surely is either very daring or is having a terribly rough patch in life..!!Its ok Dino-we know you cant act for nuts.. and no one wants to give you movies…but then that’s no way of punishing yourself for something you cant help!!!

I did not know people of South Africa can be Crrrrazy about a guy who always wears open buttoned shirts n blazers in all this concerts..(Golden ones at that), has funnily weaved hair and an ugly stubble, pouts when he smiles. and sings hindi songs with a constant one expression on his face- anger!

Himani shivpuri must have been totally shaken to have played pseudo mother to a guy who is almost her age! Probably thats why she vents out the frustration by calling him”sone ke ande dene wali murgi”-(murga hi bol deti yaar)

Himesh looks more like the care taker of Raj Babbar than vice versa(talk about a sad adopted child!!)

The best friend who meets Monty after ages(or atleast that’s what is shown) looks like a total loser(and acts like one too) is actually a doctor(Whoa!!he knew that his friend would be needing him!!best friends there—listening??)

Tina comes from a catering school on a final assignment when she meets Monty for the first time-why the heck does she have to leave even before people have eaten!!

Why is the random girl in the party clicking Tina’s pictures when she thinks that the song was for her n not Tina?

Monty composes his songs on a Mac book sitting on the pool side amongst bikini babes! Talk about inspiration!

This is one technology savvy movie-Ravi Verma goes meeting her mother in a glider,Kamini murders Ravi verma by loosening the fuel tank of the glider and jumping off the parachute( aila..that’s not even a full murder!!),and sir Jooda has a digital speaking arm through which he communicates to his translator…PHEW!!

I did not know Monty was an explosive man-he burnt the entire glider with the touch of a half inch of his black t shirt!!

Monty’s mother surely gives away some emotionally high moments in the movie when she turns up after the plane crash dressed up in heavy make up and vents her anger on the kali maa(“tujhe meri mamta ka karz chukana hoga!!,tune meri kokh banjar kari hai..tujhe mera karz dena hoga…!!kaisi maa hai tu!!!)-I had tears in my eyes..o was laughing like a maniac obviously to have received the i-will-kill-you looks from Himesh loyalists!

Each and every character, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, in Karzzzz have the best anti-aging and anti fattening cosmetics at their disposal. You are helpfully given ‘then and now’ transitions of brand ambassador Urmila Matondkar as proof.And believe me theres not even the slightest difference even after 25 long years!! None of the characters manage an extra wrinkle, or an extra inch. I want whatever they are having!I want..I want..I want!!!

I can understand the part where Urmila does not remove Dino’s huge picture from her bedroom wall even after she has known the her husband has been reincarnated to Himesh-Talk about the shock of having a husband like Dino to have transformed to Himesh-poor thing..must have thought…kaash itna bura accident na krwaya hota…shayad shakal sudhar ke aati is janam mein bhi!

I did not know 50 year old women could drive the glider and attempt murder at the same time with such finesse

Tina is such an important person in the story line…after all our man is completely and unquestioningly smitten by her and goes all the way to Kenya to find her… It must be some sort-of an art to make the object of ‘true love’ a bystander whose primary function is to lick ice-creams and go on a soft toy fetish. She just exists. Damn, she doesn’t even bother to offer support when the man of her life has disclosed the inner turmoil he’s going through!

I am wondering on whats wrong with Shweta(a.k.a Tina)-is it that her eyes don’t suit her face..or her face not suiting her eyes??

Why does Monty faint like a woman everytime he encounters a shock…and how is it that he makes sure he drops slowly and at the right angles without getting hurt..

Masha-Alla CANT EVER BE Dard-e-dil…but then I guess we can give the credit to the people involved in the song here..For the beauty of Dard e dil we had the ever amazing Rishi Kapor and for the horror of Masha Allah-we have our very own Himesh bhai and his oh no girl friend…!!!

Indra kumar is a gutsy man.After giving Madhuru Dixit some of the biggest hits for her career-he had the daring to lauch his daughter with Himesh bhai…no no..not as his daughter…but his girl friend!!

Monty was supposed to narrate the story of his love with Kamini through the final song-ek Haseena thi…I was still looking for one till the end!!

I didn’t know of the pouting talent of Urmila-though she had the toughest competition from Himesh here…

She looks equally old if not more even after 25 years!!!!!

I did not know Himesh bhai was just 25 years of age..!!

And through it all the USP of the movie remains the wonderful,magnificent and superbly laudable song Tandoori Nights-I don’t know what is more amazing in the song-the competition of pouts between Himesh and Urmila,the sassy (read”crappy”)dance moves or the love for the club-Himesh bhai kudos to you-Club itna acha laga ki poora gana uspe likh daala!!!!

While I was throughly enthralled(read-traumatized) in this master piece through every bit,I had Vin and Shivani who couldn’t bear this piece of art…so much so that after the hangover of 5 pints beer each and the movie-they were found sleeping till 4 pm the next day..while Shivani has threatened to end all relations with me for emotionally blackmailing her to watch the movie with me..Vin has gone quiet and numb..and all he can do when he hears the Himesh songs is shriek in agony n pain…Himesh bhai.. now this is whats totally “Aapka suroooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooor”!!

P.S:-As we got up from our seats after the movie was over,I saw a man sitting on the other side of the rows..i guess he had fainted..and his friends were trying to bring him back to senses..I just hope that wasn’t the movie’s impact…or else my friends n vin will surely disown me some time soon for putting their lives in danger!

But truly,frankly,honestly speaking..if you are suffering from a problem of not having laughed like nuts…and need a therapy…GO FOR Karzzzz…it may have been promoted as a vengeance based thriller.. but to me it worked better than any other laugh riot claimer...and as of still facing the after effects of The hilarious comedy i watched over the weekend...!!

Tuesday, 14 October 2008

One fine day...

I wrote this yesterday..but due to sheer is coming here today...!!

Its been a hilarious day..
Two of my closest friends called me to say that last night they dreamt about me..and i was thrilled..

Lets call them J n T
So J pings me and T pings me too at the same time(G talk zindabad...!!) here are the excerpts of the conversation one after the other…

J: guess what .. i dreamt about you last night
Me:-Woow…that’s sweet..
J:-yeah..imagine this..we are friends for around 10 years now..and this is the first time I dreamt about you..
Me:-well yeah..thats what was it

J:-Actually it was about Vin to be just came through in the end.
Me:- (All the more touched…my friend dreams about both of us)..really…tell…tell
J:- I dreamt that vinay is having an extramarital affair
Me: huh..thats interesting..and with who?
J:- Well I ‘ll leave it on u to guess it now..u guess it right and I treat you..or else you take me to Geoffereys when we are in Jaipur..
Me:-A…B…C…(names not disclosed..ofcourse on privacy terms)
J: - none..
A lot more trying and senseless conversation later..I decided I didn’t want the treat..
Me:- Ok I give up..
J: with a iccha dhari dolphin
Me: huh?
Dolphin..i mean..out of all things a dolphin…I mean…(I was aghast…)
Me:- J%%*$*$ @#$%&$#
u make my husband have an affair with a dolphin out of all things?I love Dolphins ok!!
what an imagination!!
kudos to u!
J: haan.. as in i saw a woman but the moment it saw me.. it turned into a dolphin..
Me:-Wow..thats amazing..and then..
J:-Well Vin pleaded me not to tell u about it..since he really loved the dolphin…
And my heart went out to them…
Me:-….reading in anticipation…
And suddenly u arrived on the scene..and oh and u later killed it
what did u eat before u went to sleep?
it really isnt a normal dream
J: khichdee
oh I was amused when i woke up..its really funny isn’t it..imagine Vin with a Dolphin…!!it even with a Dolphin..!!
Me: im amused now
J: thora dramatic ho gaya
though i wish u hadnt killed it
Me :- huh…why?!!
J: we couldv made millions on it
Me:- im out of words J..

simultaneously..this conversation happened with T..

T:-Hi moti
Me:- Hi T..hows u?
T :-know what..I dreamt about u last night..
T:-Yeah..and it’s a disturbing dream..Pehle I thought not to tell you..but tu to best friend hai to tell u..
Me:-ohh..was I dying..? wouldn’t have been disturbing then was something else..
T:-You were having an extra marital affair..
Me:-Huh…really..wat animal is it?
T:-animal..why animal baba..u r a human na..human hi tha…
Me:-ohh thank god.. listen carefully.
Ur having an extra marital affair and ur husband gets to know..and he kills himself..
Who was it?
T:-you were having an affair with Vin..
Me:-T……..I m married to moron!!
T:-Ya..i know..thats what is the disturbing part..i mean not ur married to vin..but u having an affair with him..i mean hope you understand..
Me:-huh!!ok..and ..
T:-So u have an extra marital with Vin..and ur giving dhoka to ur husband..who is in turn giving dhoka to u..but he thinks hes over smart...and has been getting away with it..
Me:-Huh..if we are both giving dhoka to each other..then why does my stupid husband goes ahead and kills himself..(confusion was at the pinnacle this time)
T:-Yeah..but then he did..on reasons undisclosed..i mean it was a dream c'mon..
Me:-Wow..and who is he and whats disturbing about it..
T:-The husband is Simba moti..
Me:-T..simba is a dog..your on earth can i have an affair with your dog!
T:- thats what i told was so disturbing..!!
Me:- :|

I didn’t know what to do..i was in crazy splits and of course holding my head and wondering how can people even dream PJ's ...after listening to this mastermind work by two of my closest friends…
when I told them about their respective dreams..there was a new discussion that took place..putting me in yet another trouble.

I had to now decide whose dream was about humiliations..i had to decide which of the two humiliations was better!!!!!
Ofcourse the discussion got serious since there are always comparisons and fights between J n T..the last one was on the fact that I wrote T’s testimonial before I did so for J..and it took me 1 month to convince her to accept the one i wrote for her(yeah..we are all grown ups and out of school..and hold respectable jobs too!!)

While I was still recovering from the dreamy outbursts of my friends..
I recieved this fraandship message on Facebook….
For the sheer uniqueness of the message I still haven’t ignored the request…!!!

hi Richa my self rahul from jaipur I am 23 year old handsome n carring boy…
looking for friends in jaipur I am doing my own business I hv my own car CRV and like long drive n soft songs I like parties also
I am alone in jaipur so want a friend like u who can feel my feelings
If u wanna reply plz be positive I am waiting dear.......I just want frandship with you...