Wednesday, 10 June 2009

Farewell

Torn apart in the waves of time
Rusting through the paths I crossed
Entwined in the ghostly bygones
I bid you good bye,Yesterday
Farewell...!

28 comments:

Preeti Shenoy said...

lovely!
But i do feel (purely from a writer's point of view--pls feel free to ignore my honesty) that if you remove the exclamation marks and the extra dots, and make it this way:
Torn apart in the waves of time
Rusting through the paths I crossed
Entwined in the ghostly bygones
I bid you good bye
Yesterday ,Farewell!

I think the above is a more effective way of saying it!
Cheers
preeti

santasizing...Fantasizing said...

@Preeti:-I 'll go ahead and do it right away..
I have a strange habit of using a lot of dots...:)
thanks for the suggestion:)

vimmuuu said...

errr...Im bad at understanding poetry. Blame it on my childhood. But does this mean you are bidding goodbye to blogosphere or that 'yesterday' ? :D

santasizing...Fantasizing said...

@Vimmuu:-Its just a random thought...u can say im bidding goodbyes to some old ghosts:)

Aniket said...

Ah, I've had my fair share of trouble with the dots and exclamation marks.

I can't live with out talking via dots... and the (paranthesis) :D

And yes of course, nice verse btw. Crisp and effective. ;)

vimmuuu said...

Ohhhh. Now, I get it ! Good, get rid of those ghosts !

Ki said...

Gets the point across very well in such few words. I enjoyed it :D

chirpy-paaro said...

Nice one!!! You should time to time bid farewell to past ghosts!!

santasizing...Fantasizing said...

@Aniket:-I know,its become such a habit...and i definitely need to get rid of it soonly:)Thanks for the compliment:)

santasizing...Fantasizing said...

@Vimmuu:-Yes..i am doing it:)

santasizing...Fantasizing said...

@Ki:-Thanks for dropping by...and thanks fo the comment...welcome to the blog:)

santasizing...Fantasizing said...

@Chirpy:-Thanks sweets...yes iam trying very hard...:)

Cяystal said...

I hate goodbyes..
But you put it up beautifully!

santasizing...Fantasizing said...

@Crystal:-Thanks:)...n welcome to the blog

Amal Bose said...

loved reading it..
get those old ghost away :)

santasizing...Fantasizing said...

@Amal:-Thank you for the comment:)...and welcome to the blog:)

Devil Incarnate... said...

Loved those words, nicely put together in few words.. :)

Pretty Me!! said...

Interesting !!

Adisha said...

Niceee :)

santasizing...Fantasizing said...

@Devil:-Thank you so much:)welcome to my blog:)

santasizing...Fantasizing said...

@Adisha :-Thank you:)

santasizing...Fantasizing said...

@Pretty me:-Thank you:)...welcome to my blog:)

BrownPhantom said...

I liked it ..The farwell of everyday that goes un-noticed.
Very well written :)

santasizing...Fantasizing said...

@Brown Phantom:-Thank you so much:)

Mayz said...

i loved d analogies u have used...waves n paths...they go so well wid time forgotten n moments gone...loved it!!!

thou frankly m neva lettin ya say goodbye

santasizing...Fantasizing said...

@Mayz:-Aweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee:)...
dont worry...i wont say bye to u ever...this good bye was only for some old rotten ghosts:)

darklordreturns said...

Its beautifully done.. filled with the pathos and sweet tragedy of a "farewell"!

santasizing...Fantasizing said...

@Darklordreturns:-Thank you so much:)