lovely! But i do feel (purely from a writer's point of view--pls feel free to ignore my honesty) that if you remove the exclamation marks and the extra dots, and make it this way: Torn apart in the waves of time Rusting through the paths I crossed Entwined in the ghostly bygones I bid you good bye Yesterday ,Farewell!
I think the above is a more effective way of saying it! Cheers preeti
Crazy head,Musician,animal activist,an ardent animal lover,Shutterbug,Traveller,Chatterbox,Engineer,Hyper,zombie,Dreamer,Aquarian..!
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28 comments:
lovely!
But i do feel (purely from a writer's point of view--pls feel free to ignore my honesty) that if you remove the exclamation marks and the extra dots, and make it this way:
Torn apart in the waves of time
Rusting through the paths I crossed
Entwined in the ghostly bygones
I bid you good bye
Yesterday ,Farewell!
I think the above is a more effective way of saying it!
Cheers
preeti
@Preeti:-I 'll go ahead and do it right away..
I have a strange habit of using a lot of dots...:)
thanks for the suggestion:)
errr...Im bad at understanding poetry. Blame it on my childhood. But does this mean you are bidding goodbye to blogosphere or that 'yesterday' ? :D
@Vimmuu:-Its just a random thought...u can say im bidding goodbyes to some old ghosts:)
Ah, I've had my fair share of trouble with the dots and exclamation marks.
I can't live with out talking via dots... and the (paranthesis) :D
And yes of course, nice verse btw. Crisp and effective. ;)
Ohhhh. Now, I get it ! Good, get rid of those ghosts !
Gets the point across very well in such few words. I enjoyed it :D
Nice one!!! You should time to time bid farewell to past ghosts!!
@Aniket:-I know,its become such a habit...and i definitely need to get rid of it soonly:)Thanks for the compliment:)
@Vimmuu:-Yes..i am doing it:)
@Ki:-Thanks for dropping by...and thanks fo the comment...welcome to the blog:)
@Chirpy:-Thanks sweets...yes iam trying very hard...:)
I hate goodbyes..
But you put it up beautifully!
@Crystal:-Thanks:)...n welcome to the blog
loved reading it..
get those old ghost away :)
@Amal:-Thank you for the comment:)...and welcome to the blog:)
Loved those words, nicely put together in few words.. :)
Interesting !!
Niceee :)
@Devil:-Thank you so much:)welcome to my blog:)
@Adisha :-Thank you:)
@Pretty me:-Thank you:)...welcome to my blog:)
I liked it ..The farwell of everyday that goes un-noticed.
Very well written :)
@Brown Phantom:-Thank you so much:)
i loved d analogies u have used...waves n paths...they go so well wid time forgotten n moments gone...loved it!!!
thou frankly m neva lettin ya say goodbye
@Mayz:-Aweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee:)...
dont worry...i wont say bye to u ever...this good bye was only for some old rotten ghosts:)
Its beautifully done.. filled with the pathos and sweet tragedy of a "farewell"!
@Darklordreturns:-Thank you so much:)
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