hold on

what I wish to do is..


to stare endlessly into the space,
until the difference between the finite and the infinite comes to a standstill.

Back

Ok I didnt go to the north pole to hibernate..I just disappeared because my mind was stocked with everything else but thoughts..
Too much activity isnt always good..and that is precisely what happened to me..
I got stocked with stuff I wasnt supposed to.

Anyways..now I am back and not sure how many are still reading what I write..
But there's an addition to my blog.I am an amateur shutterbug and high time I thought of giving this hobby some more room.
In the process of updating my photoblog.
For now ,there's one sneak peek into what I have been upto in my free time(i.e whatever is left of it)

albeit...

I sit on the fence,
looking about for traces of my shadow
sunshine and dews and things as such,
wondering if it will ever rain?

Astounded,and perplexed
my mind wanders to a beat so mellow
awakened,with the misty yellow
I know,the time has come!

Halo Over my head!!

Its my litle secret..for i have found a friend,one i never had,
for they say,relations mature with time,and friendships better as they age,
not that i disagree,but not fully concur
I now know for sure,
friends arent seasonal,though they might come with them
they arent occassional,though that may appear
they are for life,even when u find one on the day you are dying!!

Everyone has friends,i have them too,some old,some new,some fresh as dew!!
heres a toast to friendship,relationships and love,no matter the form
a reason to believe in Him,my best friend,who has given me reasons to smile..

what follows below,is a note from an anonymous admirer, a little secret..which i want to keep only to myself:)



You are not a Reality,for realities can be touched
You are not a Dream,for dreams can be seen
You are not a Mirage,for Mirages can be true
You are not a Mystery,for Mysteries can be solved
Life can be sought, Love can be attained...
...but how do we seek an Angel??

I don’t understand Divine Hymns but with you I wanna try
I don’t understand the chants they recite but I know the fruit is you;
I don’t wanna get caught in the web of your memories,
but I don’t know how to get out of this addiction,but again I don’t think I even wanna!!!
Like a Psychedelic dream taking over the last shreds of sanity...

For sweetness can’t be defined in adjectives,
for cuteness is just another form of you,
your Beauty is not for the beholders here...it’s only for me!!!

The warmth of your hug would be like Aphrodite whispering in my ear
the passion of your kiss like God himself singing me a lullaby!!!

What do I compare thee to??
For snowflakes are rough in front of your touch,
for mountain springs feel impure compared to your heart,
sunshine dark in front of your glow,and dewdrops shapeless in front of your eyes!!!

You give life with just a smile...all I ask is to breathe some life into my being too!!!

I wonder why!!

Walking in the clouds
way above where I stand
a ray of hope shining so bright
I wonder whats coming my way
I wonder whats causing the gleam
I wonder whats making me smile
I wonder whats bringing the sheen?

Blue sky and colors all bright
unspoken words and some otherwise
a moment let loose,the others stop by
I wonder what causes the spur
I wonder what rhymes this rhyme
I wonder where beginnings begin
I wonder what dreams look like

Loving the moments and holding them close
Some where deep in the closet of heart
a feeling that of a definite start
I wonder what is so different
I wonder what is it that makes me smile
I wonder why world seems such a better place
I wonder if it would last only a while!!!

My song

Since offlate I have been making a lot of trips down the memory lane,here is something which is probably closest to my heart.
the first song that I ever sang....
Though papa happened to misplace his most favorite cd(which had the version I sang for the first time on stage) a few years back,the original version is enough to bring a big smile to my face....
I call it my song.....whats yours?

Farewell

Torn apart in the waves of time
Rusting through the paths I crossed
Entwined in the ghostly bygones
I bid you good bye,Yesterday
Farewell...!

Of books and people...and life..

We always pride ourselves to be very social people..We meet people,make friends wherever we go, build relationships ,some that last a lifetime and some that die when the night is over.But there are some relations in life ,that never go out of sync,no matter which part of your life have you stored them.
As I was looking for an old book in my bookshelf last night and flipping through its worn out pages,is when I realized that our life too is so similar.
We tend to buy every good book that hits the market(or atleast I do!),we read the book,are completely lost during the course of it,never letting go of a single page and engrossed till the end.During that phase,each page is important and the wait to read another one endless.for those few days,that one book revolves around your mind all the time.If it is good,it comes in the last of “My favorites” and if not,its ready to be stored in some back shelf of the book rack.
With the passing life,the process continues,our choices change and so does our mindset.new books take the place of the old ones and so on and so forth.Life goes on and we tend to get busy with the complexities of it.

But,we fail to see that the books that we collected through the course are still there on the shelf,stacked and a rusted few, in a hope that we might just want to have a look at them again;and there are times when we do,probably to read our favorite chapter,or in a need to revisit some lovely memories.But when we do,we realize that we let a lot of time slip away before deciding to look back..
Some times,we tend to get so busy with the events in our lives,that we tend to forget the people who we have left behind in the flow.The people who stayed by our side when we needed them the most and the same people you forgot in your due course of life.
Some times I wonder how selfish we humans are.We need people to be around us during our bad times,but when the time is for us to do the same,we get overtly entwined in our own set of problems.
How often do all of us feel trapped in our own shadows,our own ghosts.How often do we feel that there was a time when we never had to think before we poured our heart to the same friend,with who carrying a conversation for more than five minutes now seems like task.How was it when each phone call was important,and how is it now that the number of missed calls is always higher that the dialed calls.

I feel so;Today as I look back ,I feel terrible.Terrible for having let my closest people slip away,for being so selfish and for being so lost in my own issues and problems,that I forgot about the people who mattered.people who cared and people who silently walked each chapter of my life,even when I was busy reading the newer ones.
And its so weird to see that when a whole night was very little to finish the talks,is now restricted to a basic how are you doing.What was once a careless banter,has now turned into an occasional difficult call.
And so,I am on a path now,from where I need to carve my way back,to reach out to the people who I had somehow forgotten in this journey of my life.People who were nice,and people who were bad,people who loved me,and people who I loved back,people who mattered and people who cared and some of them who simply made a difference in my life by just being there. Its never too late to start from where you left,and from today,I will do just what I used to do back in those years,when world really was a beautiful place….

I don’t know how many people may relate to my thoughts,but the ones who do,make sure you make that phone call today,and make sure who let the people know on how they really made a difference in your life by just being there..Say anything that you have been meaning to say for long,but haven’t been able to for reasons as simple as not getting the time.Take out time,and open up your heart…
Sometimes ,its a conversation that could have ended everything…but sometimes its just a conversation that will begin a new chapter in your life…

Innocence...

With Crazy mind and naughty eyes,
Jumping joys and funny toys…
Roaming the streets,on the 3 wheel cycles,
Hiding from mom, donning her sandals…
Giggles endless,and times so priceless,
How I miss the days of innocence…


Early to bed and early to rise,
Mom and dad…and things so nice…
Waiting each night for bedtime stories,
Tweaking them daily, mom seemed so wise…
Hugs endless, and times so priceless,
How I miss the days of innocence…


Life was all silly games and fun I had,
When English was good, and Maths so bad…
Deadlines for homework, were never attended,
And times of madness, always extended…
Moments timeless, and times so priceless,
How I miss the days of innocence…


Papa always taking my side,
And I would look at mom with pride…
Maths or Science, friends or fiends,
This and thats…and the wordly rants...
Papa ready with all the solutions,
To my wordly set of problems...
Sitting in his lap and dreaming all time,
Papa ……..the bestest friend of mine…
Love selfless,and times so priceless,
How I miss the days of innocence...


After seven was way too late,
And mom was always waiting by the gate...
When Restrictions seemed such farce,
..and mom seemed so very harsh...
Couldn’t wait to grow up..Couldn’t wait to be free,
Couldn’t wait to move out..when couldn’t wait to be ME...
Wait endless and times so priceless,
How I miss the days of innocence…


Grown up now,that I look back in time,
I want it all,the times that were all mine…
I am me…all grow up and free,
Something that, I always wanted to be…
Yet there’s so much that’s gone missing,
I spend each day, secretly wishing…
I want so badly, the days gone by,
The bedtime stories, and fun with friends,
Schooling days, those madness ways....

All this and all that,and a little bit more,
Times of my life,I could hold no more..!

This and That...

Me and Vinnie tend to have a lot of arguements on sundays,reason being,ofcourse house cleaning..While he hates it...I am Monica Geller..
So every week,the usual cribbing goes on through the day..and some times gets over the top when Vin starts with his "selective hearing "routine..and listens to only the things he wants to...
The days when hes lucky,I give up...and the days when he is not..I sulk...and pretend to not to talk to him...

The result is.....


Him:-what are you doing?

Me:-Huh...what do you mean?

Him:-Oh..I am just asking what are you upto at this hour of the night..

Me:-I am cleaning my face with Rose water and as you may have not noticed..I do it every night ...
*shrugs and goes on to cleaning her face*

Him:-Didn't know Bausch and Lomb were into manufacturing Rose water...I thought they only dealt with Contact Lens solution....

*Walks out of the room....and laughs his heart off...which is heard around the entire house*

Me:-....Hmmph!!!

Another feather in the cap!!!

They say weird things happen to weird people.(I don’t know who said it though!!)

And according to my mum,I am the weirdest creature alive.. According to her, I am Some one who can get a double fracture after falling from a 2 feet height,or a multiple one when challenged by her stupid friends to walk on a thin pipe resting on a 7 feet ditch.
.. Who can get bitten by the Chemistry tutor’s dog at 7 in the morning (and still given the look of my-dog-could-die-because -of -biting-you look from the same man) Who can fall just like that while walking,or simply go bang any of the existent body parts against anything that is resting on the way
...Who has changed 4 phones in the last one year(simply because they broke),who looks for potholes while driving, or who made her kinetic look like a piece of such trash within a year of its arrival that even the nearest “kabadi” didn’t want to take it.
Simply a person who cant keep a single thing in a good state,including myself!!!


I had been experiencing bad pain in my hand for the past two months,(which I kept discounting as a simple muscular pain)and when finally Vin got pissed with me and dragged me to the doc and got my tests done,we came across the results

And so…I have managed to fracture the “Trequolim bone”in my hand.
Though not a major bone,its big enough to cause me good amount of pain
So ,while the rest of the world is worried about the fracture in the so called bone in my hand,my mom is busy noting down the incident as merely another feather in my cap!!

And ,when the doctor asked me, how I managed the wonder, I had no answer; Because frankly speaking, I don’t have the faintest clue on how the miracle happened.


But all of this hasn’t deterred me from doing that’s that I love toI still play with Rufus,I still get the house cleaned with the same elan,I still eat pizza with my hand,and still fight with Vin…
...and ofcourse I am blogging too!!!

*Atleast it gave me something to write about*

Jai Ho!!!

Ok...I know I have again done the disappearing act...and I have a zillion reasons for it again…. lack of time, too much work, cant think of something…and the other blahs like that...nevertheless i think that all these are plain simple excuses and its clearly the fact that my silly mind couldn’t get enough thoughts to pen down...

and nor did i think they would...until yesterday!!

I am not at all a cricket lover…The only sport I truly relish is Tennis…and I follow it like a religion(not that I follow my religion like one!!)...but when it comes to Cricket, I have my own prejudices…there are times when I totally hate the game...and a lot of it has to do with my father, my cousin brothers...and my set of cricket fanatic friends...All of them have always hyped the game so much…that it kind of got irritating for me…I understood papa's reasons for loving it(he himself being a good player in his times...until he got busy with lots of other stuff in life)...but when it comes to the other people...I just could never understand the craze...!!!All the more since its not even our national game and the poor national game is in crazy shambles…while the cricketers in India are busy minting money….The likes of Sachin, Dhoni, Dravid and etceteras have so much money with them that the next 3 generations can have crazy fun without batting an eyelid…and yet save enough for the next 2....

Having said that… Ofcourse just like any other girl,I do have my crushes on so many of them… Be it Peterson,or Dhoni;Pathan or Watson;my ever dearest Brett Lee ,Vettori or Warne…I think some of them are totally drool worthy…. and ofcourse I drool over them left right and centre

And comes IPL which by itself is the epitome of crazy money movements accompanied with scorching glamour.The biggies from all the walks of life having decided to have some fun with the excessivemoney in their bank accounts…and hence the concept of IPL…Cheers to Lalit Modi,(a man who was once a part of the poor Rajsthan Cricket council with unusual dreams in his eyes…) for having been able to sell IPL so well.

Whats most exciting is to see the greatest of the players from different countires coming together as a team…and voila how charming is that.Which means that I see Yuvraaj singh and Brett Lee as a part of one team and Peterson and Dravid as the part of another....Ahem!!!

My favourites are ofcourse the Rajasthan Royals.I loved the finals last year(the only match i saw from start to finish)and I totally freaked out on the match yesterday.From whatever limited matches I have forcefully seen in my life,I have enjoyed this one the most.What moments and what enthusiasm!!!Boy I was totally enthralled by Shane Warne and his team who were amazingly terrific.Ofcourse they had their weak moments with Munaaf Patel in a mood for some charity,but the ultimate win is what mattered…and they did..My love for Warne increased manifolds from the last season…he is that one leader who doesn’t need to say any un necessary jargons to win,he leads by example and he does it oh so charmingly…(wink winkI so totally hope that the Royals have a win this year too…Not because I am from Rajasthan,but because it is a team made of people who really have a lot to prove.It is a team who has people like Kamran Khan (who didn’t exist for cricketers,before Warne spotted him in the small town of Azamgarh)and the ones like Yousuf Pathan (who is hungry for the victory)…and some one like Warne who has the everyone against him(I can say that from the round of commentries I heard yesterday)…and who I feel is indeed the greatest Captain australia never had..(though I think Steve Waugh and Ricky Ponting too are pretty good looking...mmmm!!!)

Being an avid cricket hater so far..I cannot sit and analyse the game and the jargons and the pitches and the reports….But I can just hope for some real nice and budding players to get the lime light they would have never got

So Royals…go halla bol

The year that was...

Its been an year...and it still hasn't sunk in...being married to the best guy in the world:)...


The times of fun..madness...crazy little things we have done...
me fighting..and yelling..and u grinning through it all..:)..The fights over the food choices...and every little moment of madness...being with you has been the best thing that has happened to me....and through it all...i havent just realised how one year flew by:)


HAPPY ANNIVERSARY P...


may the madness never stop!!!!

Everyday Lessons...:)

For all those who don’t know, Rufus is a little golden retriever we adopted a month back. He is the new member of the family and of course the cutest too…

I have always been an ardent animal lover, and it is that love which makes me do a little of things which sound weird to a lot of sensible people. And when it comes to dogs, I am on a different wavelength altogether. I have always had dogs around me. Even as a little kid, my undying love for them was pretty evident to everyone.When I was 1 month old, I preferred playing with the 2 huge dogs my father had rather than the chunks of toys lying in my room.I would spend hours playing with them,sleeping over them,pulling their tails,and irritating them,as they happily obliged. After months of living in the fear of seeing her little daughter play gleefully with the pets,my mom made peace with the fact that it probably runs in the family....and after 30 years of being married to my father…even she finally has it in her…

So, recently when we decided to adopt the little Rufus, family wasn’t too surprised..

And, now that he is around us, there are so many things the little one teaches me on a day to day basis…and some of them kae a lot of sense too.I am sure the lessons are going to continue with each passing day...and more often than not, I shall be mentioning about them.

So,starting today in the series of lessons from Rufus,this post is rightfully named as lessons from Rufus-I



1. There is never a wrong time to eat. Eat to your heart’s content…and still wonder if you missed something.


2.Peas,carrots,apples,oranges,cabbage,capsicum,
make healthy side dishes on a lazy Sunday afternoon!!






3.The best place in the house is the kitchen.
If you settle yourself near the area,

chances are that you will get to eat every hour







4.Bath tubs make great swimming pools. It s all in the mind.














5. Bean bags make lovely beds.
The more the better…!!!















6. Eating grass is fun, digging it is even better.

7. Noisy kids don’t make great company. Kids with football do.







8. Good looks are always attractive, so keep your self groomed even after all the mess you have created around you.



9. Car parking is a fun place to take a walk, you see a lot of things, and you otherwise won’t get a chance to.




10.Cute things you do, may distract people to the extent of accidently banging their heads against the wall. Sometimes, your master could also be one of them.


















11.Women like well behaved men, so every time you cross one, look at her with the cutest expression you can gather, she will surely come and say a sweet hello. She might even come and pat you and tell you how cute you are…. And if it’s really your day, she might as well pick u up and sport a little kiss.

The top 3 Tag

So, Akash has tagged me...The nice guy that he is...trying to get useless people like me to get out of the self proclaimed Writer's Block...

...and here I am with my list of Top Three's

I wish there were more categories…but then ,if there were…I would be more troubled…listing out these was tough…coz there are so many things…where I have multiple faves…

But then …a rule is a rule.. is a rule...!!!

Here I go...

1. 3 Favorite Actors
• Johnny Depp (hes awesome in all senses)
• George Clooney (I can drool over him all the time)

• Heath Ledger (He was brilliant…I so wish we could have more of him)

2. 3 Favorite Actresses
• Julia Roberts (Never seen a better smile)

• Angelina Jolie (She is oh-so-gorgeuos)
• Kajol (She is awesome…)

3. 3 Favorite New Stars (Bollywood)
• Abhay Deol (What a chilled out guy…!!!)
• Sonam Kapoor (So pretty…and yet can act!!!)
• Darsheel Zafari (I wish he doesn’t get stardom to his head…this boy indeed is talented)

4. 3 Favorite Sports
• Tennis
• Tennis
• Tennis

Yeah..I don’t understand any other game...!!!!

5. 3 Favorite Sportspersons
• Rafael Nadal
• Steffi Graf
• Roger Federer

(Obvious choices!!)

6. 3 Favorite Politicians
• None

• None
• None

(I cant stand the sight of any of them…because I think all of them are simply good for nothing!!)

7. 3 Favorite Comedians
• Vinay Pathak

• Cyrus
• Saif Ali Khan

(ok!!the Saif lovers don’t kill me-he does a fab job when hes comic…you gotta give me that)

8. 3 Favorite Indian Male singers
• Mohammad Rafi (No one can beat him...what a voice)

• KK (This guy rocks everytime he sings…man what bundle of talent)

• Mohit Chauhan (subtle and awesome)

9. 3 Favorite Indian Female singers
• Shreya Ghoshal (Lovely voice)
• Lata Mangeshkar (She doesn’t need words)
• Sunidhi Chouhan (Powerhouse)

10. 3 Favorite Corporate Honchos
• Jack Welch

• Ratan Tata

• N R Narayanamurthy

11. 3 Favorite News channels
• CNBC TV18
• NDTV 24x7
• CNN IBN

12. 3 Favorite News anchors
• Rajdeep Sardesai
• Pranoy Roy
• Barkha Dutt

13. 3 Favorite Hindi Entertainment channels
• MTV
• Channel V
• 9 xm (I love bakwaas band kar)

14. 3 Favorite English entertainment channels
• Zee Studio

• Zee Cafe

• Star World

15. 3 Favorite TV Shows
• Roadies
• Friends
• Sex and the city

16. 3 Favorite Writers
• Nicholas Sparks
• Erich Segal

• Ayn Rand

17. 3 Favorite Movies
• One Fine Day
• DDLJ
• Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

This list is so not fair…I am still thinking on the list of fave movies…!!!

18. 3 Favorite Indian Holiday destinations
• Kerala
• Kodaikanal

• Rajasthan

19. 3 Favorite Professions
• Media Planner

• HR consulting
• Banking
(...the irony is that...I am in currently in my most unfavorite profession...!!!)

20. 3 Favorite Mobile Brands
• Nokia
• Blackberry
• Sony Ericcson

21. 3 Favorite Laptop Brands
• Dell
• Apple
• Sony

22. 3 Favorite Cars
• BMW 7 series
• Audi
• Honda

23. 3 Favorite Apparel brands
• Levi’s

• Versace

• Indian Terrain

24. 3 Favorite Deserts
• A chocolate cake dripping with chocolate chunks and soaked in chocolate sauce

• Caramel walnuts with icecream(if you haven’t tried this-go to a good Chinese restaurant and try it!!!)

• Mom made Besan ke laddoo

25. 3 Favorite Cuisines
• Italian
• India(I wish Punjabi food was a cuisine)
• Mexican

So I am done...and waiting for all others for their own...

All those who think are really suffering from the Writer's Block...Go ahead..and take this tag...

Its a great way to exercise the rusted mind and take it off that dreaded laptop...and ofcourse..it gives you a new post as well...:)

Off you Go!!!!

Of love...and life..

I claim to understand a lot of things in life…and then there is love..!!!

Its not about any of my romantic dreams,or some beautiful book I read..

Its not even about my perceptions on love..and nor of others…

Its just about how I wonder when people lose their mind in the wrong way when they are in love.

I have a friend at my workplace.Nice and sweet guy and truly, madly deeply in love with this girl who stays in Dubai.They have known each other for ages…. and finally started seeing each other a couple of years back…and for all this while the relationship has been long distance.

So,everyday at lunch time I would be bombarded with their long love filled stories,and I used to feel terrible that two people who were so much in love couldn’t be together.

He would plan nice little ,big ,huge surprises for her everyday..and when he was not working,we all knew where to find him..He would always be in the pantry talking to his sweetheart.We all totally loved having him around….and he would give us all reasons to.

He would often come home and we would strum the guitar and sing on for hours while Vin recorded our amateur performances…

He and Vin gelled along like brothers…and I kept getting my cooking lessons from his mother..And a thousand miles away from home,it indeed was a little family situation we were a part of…

But some how gradually I noticed that the sweet smiling boy had started getting jittery about little things. He would often get finicky, and weird .He was thinking a lot, was always on the phone and eventually started taking a lot of leaves too...Initially I presumed it was his back that kept troubling him like in the old times..On a few occasions me n Vin went to visit him over,his parents seemed distressed … but they would still try n be the merry people that they are… And some how things didn’t seem right..

Finally after a gap of 2 weeks, he came to work...and as we caught up for lunch, he told me..”Rich I am leaving”..

I didn’t quite understand what he meant by that…but on closer look at him,I knew what he meant .He was quitting the job to go ....to go and be with his lady love.

I first thought he had finally got a job in Dubai and was moving there,when he told me that he didn’t have a job…and was going there to look for one…I was shocked..

I knew..and so did he…that in the pathetic market situation like this, where people were being thrown out of their jobs ,he had taken a huge risk by quitting a well paying job…only because his girl friend felt that he didn’t want to be with her.

I asked him if he had thought about what he was doing?The answer to which was,

“I cant let her be alone….”

I was pretty shocked again… because I knew she lived there with her family..and was in no way all alone and by her self…But I knew that he had made up his mind and as expected ,all that I was trying to explain seemed gibberish to him.As the conversation proceeded… I kept thinking on what caused such a wise guy to do something so foolish …

When you are an only child..and your parents have retired…I guess there is a huge sense of responsibility and in those situations,if a person,who is incidentally a good friend too…makes such decisions,you cant do anything but feel helpless at the irony of the situation.

So finally,he applied for a 1 week leave( he finally listened to me and did not resign),and left for Dubai.

The very same week,came a shocker at our workplace,when about 100 people were fired as a part of the cost cutting measure by the company.

The process was simple,the people who were to be fired were called in for a meeting by their respective managers,and while they were being given the notice of termination,all their access were revoked.

And I don’t know why I was really scared about the whole thing.

I informed my friend about the situation,who by then was pretty happy being in Dubai..and making up for all the years he lost out on.

I knew once gone,he was not coming back until he had a job in his hand…and that’s how it has been till date

Its been 4 weeks since he’s gone;he hasn't called his manager to inform him of reasons on why he’s not back yet..

He is still struggling to get a job there …and its unlikely that he will…because the ever flourishing Middle East too is in shambles of the Recession...

This morning,he pinged me to tell me that he couldn’t connect to the vpn…he couldn’t access his outlook…his accesses were revoked…I tried talking to the IT guys,but I was directed to his manager,who seemed totally cold whe I went to him to talk…

I didn’t know what to do…I don’t even know whats happening…

Some how I don’t feel sorry for the state he is in..he asked for what he has got…But I do feel really sad for all that has happened..and I so wish I could reverse it completely..I wish I could make him think sane.

And in the middle of it..all I can remember is a saying…”people rise in love”

..And then I wonder why that girl,for whom he took so many pains,didn't understand that just because of her own selfish interests,she made him lose out on a lot.

And I wonder why…even after all this, he hasn’t got a lesson..to rectify his mistakes…

..and why he is not thinking of his parents who he has left all alone here…

…why is he so blinded by the cursory illusions of fame,power and quick money…..

This is just a person in my life who I came across...I am sure there are so many other people like that..who do not rise in love..but get drowned..who do not realise a lot of things untill they have messed them.

I have been through that phase too...but before I could lose myself in my own shadow,I came out of it..But then not everyone gets that chance in life..

I wonder why…when in love ,you are so blinded that you don’t realize your wrongs…

I wonder …..if it is really love…or just the illusion of it..!

The 7 am hiatus...

Ok so I know I have been hibernating for so long that most of the people have even forgotten that I ever existed….and now that I have had a long enough break, I so hope that I will have something to write about on a more regular basis.Well..i am back…and this time for the good…

So,while I had been spending my time away from the blog world, it really wasn’t for the good…The generally jobless me was overloaded and bombarded with work...Well I know I should be happy that I finally got some work after months of boredom in my office, but the saddest part was that the work that I eventually got to work on was more boring than the non work that I didn’t have…Alright…Yeah…it’s kind of confusing…so be it...I never understood it anyway...

So, for the past one month, I have been living with meetings. Meetings that start at 7...and end only when I am on the verge of collapsing...I start my day with one...and of course end it too with a couple of them to haunt me through the night.Well for those who know me, they also know for the fact that my mornings don’t begin before 11.All the 4 years of college, I could never make it for the first two lectures; In Gurgaon, mornings started at 10, but this new job wasn’t too emphatic with my state.… and with much difficulty, (and umpteen efforts for 6 months), I finally clocked my self to get up at 8 and somehow reach office by 10,an achievement that my family celebrated for quite a few days. As days went by, I started getting adjusted to my 8 am mornings, and suddenly one evening as I was comfortably sitting on the easy chair planning my next meal, I got a sms from my manager.

Now, my manager deserves another post to be written about since mentioning her in just a few lines would be a injustice to her kind of a personality.So, I will make sure that my coming posts do talk about her.

Coming back to the discussion, I got a message from her, stating that there is a review meeting scheduled for 7 am the next morning. I was aghast!!! What was she thinking,7 am is no time. It was almost midnight…I read the message again,and again..and when I realized that the words were just as I was reading them,and didn’t appear to change,I called her to confirm if she really had lost it completely. Talk about being curt, she wasn’t even apologetic for calling me on such unruly hours…and I knew I didn’t have a choice but to go.Vin tried to console me by saying that it wouldn’t happen again, and just once I could manage it…and so I did and the rest is just history……

But such is the irony of life... that fateful, horrendous and freaking day marked the beginning of a never ending torture on me.And now,I reach office at 6:45 am…attend meetings till 4 pm,and end up getting yelled at for not giving any work stats reports which should be out by 4 pm anyways.And so, the poor me has been juggling with trying to please one and all…and getting nowhere.To make things better(read worse..Iam in my sarcastic mode), 3 of my super bosses are on a visit to the India office .So this lady(lets call her V) has taken a step further to leave no stone unturned to impress each one of them.Dont know how many are impressed, but the whole process has surely killed me.

So, one of these fateful meeting days of mine, I was struggling with discussions since 7 am. It was already 1230, and along with being hungry, I was damn sleepy and yawning shamelessly (well not really, I was trying really hard to control it…) as the VP was addressing us. I don’t know if everyone can relate to the pain of being hungry and sleepy at the same time, but it surely is a deadly combo for me.And right when I was on the verge of getting stoned, this fun loving VP(lets call him C) of ours decided to have some fun session, and he wanted our feedback on whatever nonsense he was trying to utter.Me being me,thought I could really get away by trying and being moderately responsive and sleeping with eyes wide open…And so it began..the discussion on Perception…C was trying really hard to sound like a cool guy (at 50, he is neither cool, nor funny,and the least interesting)..
C:-So guys, lets talk about perception and how we can turn our perceptions into a world class thought process of a world class team.

While everyone raised their hands like 5 year old nursery kids, I was still trying to get back to my senses...and trying to understand what he was really talking about...

C-So Richa, you look contemplative..lets start with you…

“(Huh..why me?I don’t even know what you are asking..contemplative…man..Iam dying of lack of sleep..and im starving all in an effort to tolerate your nonsense.…and you call me contemplative….!!!grrrrrrrrrrr!!!!)”

Some gibberish that I uttered,somehow saved me from being caught red handed in my sleeping act.

C:-Great Richa…so now let’s hear you all…

Phew..….Some more futile and silly questions later…..as we dug in deeper to understand what Perception meant…

C:-Ok guys, how many of you have been to the US

Voila…I was safe here..I grinned and grinned ,I have never been to the mighty US..and there was no way he could have directed the question to me..and so I fell back and started to go back to my relaxation mode..

Everyone else was looking at each other,so it was obvious that none had been…V was observing everyone in the meantime in a hope that some one will raise a hand..and when no one did,she decided to volunteer.(No matter how sleepy I was,I could bet,she had never been there…and she was faking…)

C:-Ok V…so Can you tell me what do they mean when they have 55 MPH written on their expressways.?

Now,this was getting interesting,and I woke up to see the most priceless expression I have seen on some ones face.She didn’t know..and it was evident.But now that she was trapped in her own oversmart move,she didn’t have a choice.So ,after an initial hiccup,she started to speak…

C:-“It means the same like it means here in India,It is ofcourse the maximum speed limit and it means that people cant go beyond 55 mph and the difference between US and India is that people there follow rules”

It seems that she went a little wrong with her overboard answer..I didn’t know until C got uncomfortable with her silly answer.and suggested that it really was the other way around..

And as C continued the discussion with how 55 mph means the minimum speed limit and not the maximum, there she was…embarrassed…and irritated ofcourse…and as she tried to confirm that she meant the same… I burst out in a laughter(to my amusement,everyone felt that I was coughing…as they passed me a glass of water)…I finally had a jump start to the rest of the day….What happened to her…?Well she hasn’t raised her hand for any of the questions till date..I guess she will take some time to gather her thoughts..
And what happened to me after that…well..I got a new manager..The 7 am meetings continue…but this time..I am not complaining…!!
P.S.:-I realized that this is my first post of 2009…16 days since the new years went by…And that just reminds me that I am yet to make my new year resolutions for 2009...I have already started Contemplating..contemplation is good for me...:)

Happpy New Year…!!!

Im bored!!

Im bored..iam bored…im bored….bored bored bored..!!!bored...bored...bored!!!!

For the past few days I have been essentially bored out of everything I do..or I don’t do..or I plan to do..or even things that I don’t plan to do.. and this syndrome took a sudden upswing last evening once I was done with my super yummy dinner of Rajma chawal..I got suddenly bored..
Just as i finished the dinner..and was thinking on now what..I realised..i was bored..
Ignoring it all..we decided on planning the coming long weekened which is finally here after the long wait..and in the process of planning some thing fun for it..I got BORED…so bored that I realized I didn’t want to go anywhere..
surprised by the sudden outcome of events..I thought sleeping would be the best thing..and so i dozed off..feeling bored ofcourse..

I got up in the morning..not feeling fresh..but feeling bored..I headed for the daily chores…the breakfast(my fave meal of the day after dinner!!)..the office and the office work..

I got bored when I drove to work …bored of listening to the same old songs I have been listening to for so long..bored of facing the traffic and taking hours to reach office..which bored me further..bored of looking at the laptop screen for hours..which im not willing to give up ..and in all this im even bored of facing the funny things that keep happening with me..

Now the question here is if I am sad or depressed about some thing..???
Life’s good..job’s ok(ok now job’s very bad..but who cares..its just a few hours of your day)house is good..vehicles are good..my maids are now settled and even they are good..and now I don’t have to deal with the autowalas anymore..
So that says it that I don’t have a reason to be sad..
But then again..im bored..I am so bored that as I write this..i don’t know what on earth am I typing ..
So the answer is no..im not sad..or depressed..I am just BORED out of proportion..



This whole incident has worried the hell out of me..I am really not able to figure out the reasons for being so bored..Is it some kind of Oh-Im-so-bored-that-i-will-snooze-soon syndrome?or is it some kinda disease that has taken the form of boredom and might transform into something bigger....I roll my eyes in suspicion as I wonder on this strange phase iam going through..and yet iam not able to find a suitable answer to the whole confusion of this sudden boredom…

I tried doing/planning the following activites which generally chirp me up completely..to remove this abnormality that has suddenly gotten into me..(though not necessarily in the same order)

Reading a funny book
Watching a funny movie(Hitchiker’s guide to the galaxy-though I was bored..and didn’t enjoy it as much..I’d recommend it to all the maniacs of the world to go ahead and watch this nonsensical masterpiece)
Watching MTV fully Faltoo
Going out for a long drive followed by an icecream
Planning for the coming long weekend
Cleaning up the house all over again
Talking and gossiping to some of the brainless friends of mine
Shopping
Eating pizza and 2 full bars of chocolate with ice tea
Gymming for an extra hour
Watching crazy videos on Youtube
Watching Karzzzz ka videos(they used to amuse the hell out of me a few days back..so I thought I could try with Tandoori Nights once again)

Etc…etc….etc..

The result
I was more bored than I was when I had just realized that I was bored.
God save..
What do I do?
Hell im bored!!

Since I was too bored as I wrote this..I tried calculating the number of times I used this significant word all over here-I got BORED after 20

sweet nothings...

Ok..so life around me is always exciting and full of thrill..(For others to hear about!!)
and just another one of those incidents for me happened on Saturday..
very merrily i was booking my tickets for my Jaipur trip on Diwali..and when i looked around to check my wallet to take out my dear credit card("dear"has a deep meaning to it..but i would describe it sometime later)and there i was shocked to find that my wallet was missing..
grrrrrrrrrrrrr...........
goodness..i went berserk looking for it everywhere..in my jhola type bag(i have a fetish for bigggggggg bags...the bigger the better!!!),in my wardrobe..and almost everywhere..even those places where there were no chances of finding it..and there i had almost transformed into a nervous wreck..
I immidiately caught hold of the car keys and rushed to the sweet shop where i had so religiously bought my favourite "rasmalai"(talk about putting kilos on your body coz of over eating..and then trying to go on a healthy diet....grrrrrrrr again!!)those 10 mins of drive had all the post thoughts running in my mind(like i told u..i never can think of only one thing at a time)..i had already started contemplating on how to get my credit cards and the debit cards blocked..and at the same time i was getting depressed about the hoardes of loyalty cards that i collected over my years of shopping stints with shoppers stop,lifestyle,pantaloons,and blah ..blah..mind you..im not loyal to just one brand..you name it and i have the loyalty for it..
anyways...much to my disappointment,my wallet wasn't there at the sweet shop..
grrrr....grrrrr
i started cursing the mithai wala as religiously as i had smiled at him when i bought the rasmalai there..i was cursing the moment when the whole thought of eating that rasmalai entered my mind..grrrr...(again!!!)
and there was..getting back home..planning my steps..getting the cards blocked..and also somehow trying to talk to my loyalty partners and getting them to re issue me my cards with the same number of points..(hell yeah..so what..i couldnt let go of some thousands of loyalty points just like that)
i reached back..and just thought of giving a final look into my bag..
and for the first time since I had bought it..I looked within the bag properly to find that it had a smart slit within it(as in the inner lining of cloth had a slit -to keep ur important stuff.)Excited enough I searched more and isnt it like so obvious now ..knowing me that i had used a feature of my bag unknowingly in the excitement of that mithai..and there behind that cloth lining was my sweet huge wallet resting in peace..
was i exhilerated..or was i exhilerated..i finally had it back..
and ofcourse the thrill of having a scientific kinda bag was unmatched...

and like i told you God has his way of having fun at my expense..those 45 minutes would have been a pure thrill for Him up there..:-)
so here Iam with my lost and found story(blown out of proportion)and ofcourse rasmalai still topping the charts for being my fave mithai...