Reincarnation?

I stopped writing for 2 1/2 years.A lot happened in those years ,good and bad.One of my longest writers blocks because as far as my memory goes,i have always been writing.At an age i couldn't write,i scribbled on notepads for hours.

I am not sure what caused the block.But I do know that not writing made something always amiss,days incomplete and myself wasted.

I contemplated for a while to start a new blog for fresh starts etc and soon figured that I didnt want to simply leave;but rather restart from where i left off..Isn't that something that happens with old friendships too?

I am hopeful that I will be able to continue going forward;I am rather determined..

I welcome back,to my own space:)

Failure is important..

If it hadnt been for one,I would have still been running towards something..which I really did not want to do..

Im glad..that at that point in my life,I failed..

Even though I am still clueless on what I want to do..I atleast know what I definitely dont' want to do..

That's one hurdle less...

Shine on!!:)

Arbit

Raste na badle na badla jahaan...
fir kyun badalte kadam hain yahaan?

Reality check

Reality can hit you real hard on the face...
...and in most cases it should!

Waking up to the harder truth is not a choice one lives with,but once in a while ,each one of us needs it to wake up from the myths we live with.It gets difficult and it may seem insurmountable,but isnt that too little an effort to a life time of happiness?

autumn to spring...

eclipses in time and memories etched on the canvas of a mind

smiles bygone and the moments of tease ,with those moments of undying ease

the magic spurning desires entwined and hearts melting in the rye of time

the moments that were,of a life

that revolved around the circle of his arms

the whispered nothings and mindless desires;

countless hours and endless banter..

early good mornings and sleep less nights

or sneaking away that last kiss good night

how can i not astonish on the beauty i see through my heart and my eyes

I carress this sleepless mind and ask to be set free

I build on my dreams now..

on the foundations of my castles under the rainbow tree

a new awakening:)

Like all aquarians,I suffer from a problem of having a very very fickle mind..a mind that can never stay at peace and needs something or the to occupy it all the time..

Definitely not a great quality to have,since mostly the person in question ends up being a extremely restless and high on energy...with a frustration of not finding a exit to vent out the sudden burst of energies..

I,definitely have the trouble of controlling my mind and staying at peace.A problem I struggled with all my life till I found the peace in capturing the world through my camera...

and Im glad i found it..because I have never felt better than in the last few months.And if there's one lesson I have got out of this hobby is to be patient and to find an ability to take out time for something I love the most.

updated some pictures on my photoblog..

http://pixellian.blogspot.com/boy how much i love clicking these pictures..i wish i had awakened a little early..:)

convoluted..

Dark,unruly,fiesty state of being
or the happily melancholic side
timid,contrived or intrepid moments
simply sweeping deep and wide
Understated and unfamiliar,
the territories I try to surpass,
the ways I try to mend
the vision I encompass
Wonder what lies ahead..
the complexities of a frenzied mind....
Alas!

hold on

what I wish to do is..


to stare endlessly into the space,
until the difference between the finite and the infinite comes to a standstill.

The photo blog

So I finally created my photoblog..


www.pixellian.blogspot.com

So the idea is,that I am going to be very regular with both of these..and i really really want to make this work:)

All d best Santa:)

Back

Ok I didnt go to the north pole to hibernate..I just disappeared because my mind was stocked with everything else but thoughts..
Too much activity isnt always good..and that is precisely what happened to me..
I got stocked with stuff I wasnt supposed to.

Anyways..now I am back and not sure how many are still reading what I write..
But there's an addition to my blog.I am an amateur shutterbug and high time I thought of giving this hobby some more room.
In the process of updating my photoblog.
For now ,there's one sneak peek into what I have been upto in my free time(i.e whatever is left of it)

albeit...

I sit on the fence,
looking about for traces of my shadow
sunshine and dews and things as such,
wondering if it will ever rain?

Astounded,and perplexed
my mind wanders to a beat so mellow
awakened,with the misty yellow
I know,the time has come!

Halo Over my head!!

Its my litle secret..for i have found a friend,one i never had,
for they say,relations mature with time,and friendships better as they age,
not that i disagree,but not fully concur
I now know for sure,
friends arent seasonal,though they might come with them
they arent occassional,though that may appear
they are for life,even when u find one on the day you are dying!!

Everyone has friends,i have them too,some old,some new,some fresh as dew!!
heres a toast to friendship,relationships and love,no matter the form
a reason to believe in Him,my best friend,who has given me reasons to smile..

what follows below,is a note from an anonymous admirer, a little secret..which i want to keep only to myself:)



You are not a Reality,for realities can be touched
You are not a Dream,for dreams can be seen
You are not a Mirage,for Mirages can be true
You are not a Mystery,for Mysteries can be solved
Life can be sought, Love can be attained...
...but how do we seek an Angel??

I don’t understand Divine Hymns but with you I wanna try
I don’t understand the chants they recite but I know the fruit is you;
I don’t wanna get caught in the web of your memories,
but I don’t know how to get out of this addiction,but again I don’t think I even wanna!!!
Like a Psychedelic dream taking over the last shreds of sanity...

For sweetness can’t be defined in adjectives,
for cuteness is just another form of you,
your Beauty is not for the beholders here...it’s only for me!!!

The warmth of your hug would be like Aphrodite whispering in my ear
the passion of your kiss like God himself singing me a lullaby!!!

What do I compare thee to??
For snowflakes are rough in front of your touch,
for mountain springs feel impure compared to your heart,
sunshine dark in front of your glow,and dewdrops shapeless in front of your eyes!!!

You give life with just a smile...all I ask is to breathe some life into my being too!!!

When you are gone!

Bauji went away...but he did leave his blessings with me..
and no matter the distance between us..i know he can hear me..

Life has changed and changed are things,
When you are gone,gone thus far

I know you can hear me when i say i love you
i know you do,
i know you feel it when you are being missed
i know you do,
The words unspoken,the talks we were yet to share,
For you my friend,have left us the world so bare,
So many miles to walk,but i know you are beside,right there!

I know you know it when i say,I miss you my friend,
I know you do!

Thank you Bauji for being there for me always..I wanted to share this day with you,but i guess i got late.But I also know that your smiling down at me from the heaven above!!
You are greatly missed!

A slip away

Death is nothing at all,
a heavenly slip into the next room..
I am I and you are you,
whatever we were to each other,
we still are!
Call me by my familiar name,
Pray,smile,think of me
Pray for me..
Let my name ever be the household word,
that it was.
Let it be spoken without effect
without a trace of shadow on it

Life means all that it ever meant,
it is the same as it ever was..
That unspoken continuity

Why should I be out of mind,
just because I am out of sight!!!



P.S:-Vinays Grandfather and my grand father in law passed away on 1st october.He was my role model,my friend,someone who encouraged me for everything I wanted to do in life.some one who himself was an icon.someone who loved us all immensely..
someone I am never going to stop missing all my life.
Rest in peace bauji...we really love you!

I wonder why!!

Walking in the clouds
way above where I stand
a ray of hope shining so bright
I wonder whats coming my way
I wonder whats causing the gleam
I wonder whats making me smile
I wonder whats bringing the sheen?

Blue sky and colors all bright
unspoken words and some otherwise
a moment let loose,the others stop by
I wonder what causes the spur
I wonder what rhymes this rhyme
I wonder where beginnings begin
I wonder what dreams look like

Loving the moments and holding them close
Some where deep in the closet of heart
a feeling that of a definite start
I wonder what is so different
I wonder what is it that makes me smile
I wonder why world seems such a better place
I wonder if it would last only a while!!!

Just...

Is it weird to feel..

Detached when you know someone loves you
Estranged when you are very well taken care of
Lonely when the world is around u
Insane when everything is going right
Uncomfortable in your own skin
Loud in the quiet of the night
Restless in the wee hours of morning
Annoyed at nothing yet everything
Tears on your cheeks as you laugh
Miserable for hours..
…

And yet not know the reason?

A day for friends

Dont know what starts it
a smile,a wish
a casual hi or simply nothing..
but no matter what and no matter when
small moments that make a lifetime..
some stay,some move on,
some remain a part of memories
and some become a lifetime of them
a wish to all friends..
who have made this life so beautiful for me..
What would i do without you:)

HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY!

Have I told you lately?

Have I told you lately?

I feel blessed to be with you forever

I feel love and full of life

Smiling to me and twinkle eyed

I feel loved, and I feel alive

For you have touched my life,

Like you have,

For you have given meaning to it,

And brought it back to life



Have I told you lately?

Those little moments that I have of you

Memories that span a life time through.

Seem so little and yet so vast

I could get drenched and yet feel the thirst

For you have touched my heart,

Like you have,

For you have given rhythm to it,

And brought it back to life





Have I told you lately?

Even though you may not speak all the time,

How much your words mean to me

Even though you may not be around,

I feel your presence, right next to me

When I get sad and misty eyed,

You is all I need to perk myself

For you have touched my senses,

Like you have,

For you have given feeling to them,

And brought them back to life



Have I told you lately?

When I fight with you, and make you feel so blue

There is a part of my soul that I have lost too

When I say words so harsh and sound so mean

I am clinching the pain of not having you

When I get rustic and miserable

It’s the miles that have taken a toll on me

For you have touched my pain,

Like you have,

For you have given yearning to it,

And brought it back to life





Have I told you lately?

That its you who I have my heart for

Its you who keeps me going

It’s with you that I dare to dream

And spread my wings

Its for you that I am myself

And its you who is my belief

For you have touched my dreams,

Like you have,

For you have given a horizon to them,

And brought them back to life





Have I told you lately?

That I miss you in all walks of my life

Sad and rusted, mad and beyond

And even when life seems overjoyed

Its you who I want to see first thing in the morning

And its you, I wish to kiss goodnight

For you have touched a part of me,

I never knew I had,

For you have given meaning to me,

And brought me back to life

Sometimes

Where I came from was a fairy tale
Radiated,pure and blissful
Where I go to is not what I know of
Mesmerized,enchanted or plain wishful
Thoughts don’t leave me a moment,
Mind overpowers the heart.
Sometimes I wonder,
Is it what one is born with
or just a part of growing up?

Just...a thought

I have again been attacked by the writer's block and was thinking that I wouldn't be able to write for some time;But such is life,things do happen when u least expect them to.

Had a terrible start to the day where I stuck my foot in the bathroom door and the damn thing still hurts.Somehow got dressed for work to realize that i wasn't fitting into my favorite shirt all of a sudden;Grumpy and grouchy left for work only to be stuck in a hour long traffic jam.
Finally on reaching office,when i was struggling hard to gain my sensibilities,i had a major fight with one of my closest friends.And for the first time in 4 years,we both raised our voices and yelled and shouted at each other.
I feel terrible ever since.I shouldn't have said all the bad things I did...but at the same time I feel that the same holds true for him.
The trouble with friends of opposite sex is that the perspectives of fights change for the two people.While the men show their anger by keeping quiet,we women tend to be more expressive and loud.
So,while my talking too much pissed him off,his keeping quiet did the job for me.
I am so miffed,and irritated yet I don't know how to correct this situation.There are times when u know its not your fault,and u know that u stand correct,but tend to change your judgment for others' happiness..
But this time I don't wish to do it.How many times can we go on losing ourselves and our thoughts to keep others happy?Shouldn't the same thing hold true for others too?
Why can't friends stop being judgmental and take you the way you are?Why do some people expect you to change for them when ideally a true friend should accept you the way u are and still love you?Why do people expect you to be sensitive to their emotions while they don't do the same to you?Why do people dislike it when you decide to stand up to your thoughts against them,when they were the ones who taught you to do so?
So many questions in my mind and none that I have answer to..
I just know that I don't want to lose a good friend to an ego clash;that's the worst death a friendship can suffer.:(